Beyond livid

I am fucking beyond livid. I want to punch a fucking hole in the wall among other things. I realize that I may be over-reacting, since I am on my period. This is never a good time to fuck with me. And the one person in my life who really likes to fuck with me is a god damned expert and I always forgive him. Why? I don't fucking know why. It makes no fucking sense to me.

Edith called him yesterday because she really wanted to talk to him, but he didn't answer his phone. I texted him a while later and got no response. I called again after the kids had gone to bed at about 10:30 and he said I woke him up, so I just let him go.

So I was kind of upset because I don't like that he didn't respond to us all night. Today I call and ask him what was up and he said his phone was charging in the bedroom, and he was watching tv in the living room. Fine, whatever. He then says he is off work and coming to pick me up to go grab something to eat. Well, he works only about 15 minutes from here, but an hour later he shows up. I ask him what's up, why did it take so long. He says his boss needed him to work some more. I told him it would be nice if he called to let me know that and of course he gets upset because he does what he has to do to keep his job. That is fine with me, I would just like a fucking phone call, Alright!?

So we get the kids and go to eat, drop Balthezar off at cubscouts and come home. Well, on the way home I ask him if it would be okay if he watched the kids and I could go to an OA meeting. His response is something to the effect of - what for? It is just you driving around and wasting gas, he says. Okay, go fuck yourself buddy. We get home and he goes into the kids room and is watching tv, I ask him why he says stuff like that. He says for me to just go and he doesn't know why he said it. (to piss me off and make me feel bad is what I'm thinking)

So I go to the meeting, stop at Safeway to pick him up lunch for tomorrow and come home. It is almost 9, so think that he has probably not gotten them to sleep, but the kids are probably in bed, right? No. They are eating because they say they are starving - which I doubt, but whatever. I try to read books with them but he isn't respectfull of that and plays around with the kids so they aren't listening and are getting wound up. I then just told the kids I love them and left.

He comes out a few hours later, after falling asleep in there and watches tv with me and my mom for a while. When we all decide to go to bed, he says something about the bed not being made. I don't ever make the bed. Bedmaking makes no real sense for me and I have never really done it. He knows that. He is the one who usually will make the bed. Well, I go to the bathroom and go to my room and he isn't in there. He has decided to sleep in the kids' room. WTF?! I mean, really? I don't make the fucking bed like always and you decide to not sleep with me because of it. Well, fuck you too, asshole. Don't expect to be sleeping in my goddamned bed any time soon motherfucker. I fucking hate you, you stupid prick.