Thursday, September 25, 2008

first week of school

I started school this week. I have had a couple near crying misses. I started to have a panic attack when class first started on Monday. I was able to calm down with an exercise that my therapist taught me. You use all of your sense and focus on them. What you are smelling, what you taste, what colors are in the room, what you are touching, and all of the different sounds that you are hearing. It worked and I calmed down.

I almost started crying today doing a skills test for nurse assisting. I had to transfer someone from a bed to a wheelchair. I was having a hard time and the instructor had to help out. I was all red and sweating and felt like an idiot. Then poor David, my partner had to transfer me. I guess it is good practice because we will probably have overweight patients, but the tranfer belt wouldn't even fit around me, so we had to 'pretend'

Which brings me to another thought. I am obviously stressed and have been eating too much. I am getting financial aid this year, and it happens to equal about exactly what it would cost to get a lap-band. I know that my therapist would kill me if she knew I was even thinking about it - she wants me to love myself as I am before I make any changes, and really believes in the fat acceptance movement. I totally get that, but I am just too fat and not getting it under control by myself.

Edith had an 'intervention' today. It was for SPITTING when she was angry for being told to settle down during book reading time. She also keeps throwing temper tantrums at school. NICE! I got a call and a pink slip to sign, and she was kept inside and in her classroom during lunch and recess.

I have about 15 chapters of reading to do over the weekend. I am not feeling very confident in my ability to keep up. I only have to get a 78% to pass my class, so hopefully I will keep my grades in the 80's, but I am feeling really overwhelmed. It doesn't help that I don't think my instructor likes me, and I am feeling really vulnerable going into the health care field weighing over 300 pounds.

I painted my nails today with a really cute set that I got at the Puyallup fair. I have a base coat with red, green, and white stars on them. I feel guilty about spending time doing that, but whatever. It was nice to treat myself, and I feel pretty.

Saturday, September 13, 2008

Saying Goodbye to Cosleeping

I have slept with my children since they were born. It was never a thought in my mind when Balthezar was born that he would sleep in a crip. Especially being married to Moises. It is kind of like circumcision in Mexico - nobody does it. I remember asking Moises what he thought about circumcision and he was shocked that they do that to babies when they are born. He also couldn't understand why someone would make a baby sleep by itself.

By the time that Edith came around, I was finished with cosleeping. We had a queen sized bed, Balthezar was 3 and still sleeping with us, and I couldn't imagine where an extra baby would go. But, Moises was completely against forcing Balthezar to sleep on his own ("he's only 3, he is too little to sleep by himself") and again, a new baby sleeps with his mother.

I ended up sleeping with Edith proped on my lap in a recliner. I think about that now, and wonder how I didn't kill her or something (I did drop her once....) When she got a little older, she slept on the bed, and I ended up sleeping in the recliner. It was more comfortable for me that way - I couldn't share a queen sized bed with 3 other people. Since moving in to my mom's house, it has worked out better with just me and the kids, but still a little cramped for me.

After years of trying to get Balthezar to sleep on his own, it has finally happened. While we were in Mexico my mom bought a bunk bed for the kids, and they knew that it was going to happen. They knew that it was going to be where they sleep. I didn't think that it was going to go over well - being that we had tried before, but amazingly, BOTH of my children and now sleeping without me!!!!!

It is wonderful, but I have to admit that when I lay down at night, I definately miss snuggling up to them, and having their warm little bodies next to mine in the morning.

Saturday, September 6, 2008

Partying Mexican style

My photos here are a bit out of order, but here goes. In Moises town, they love to celebrate. They have parties for Babtisms, weddings, first comunion, mothers day, birthdays, day of the children, graduation, and so on and so on. Now, whereas we are used to going to a kids party for games and cake and such, the parties there are usually focused on a meal.

This year I was asked to be the madrina for Medardo's graduation from elementary school, and for Abimael's graduation from kindergarten. As madrina - godmother?- I accompany them at the school when they graduate, and give them a gift. After the graduation the family invites friends and family to eat, drink, and be merry.

The first foto is at my sister in law Delia's house for the food. She is standing with a plate - cleaning up or serving food, and Moises parents are sitting.

Delia, Medardo and my suegra (mother in law) at the party. Notice the plate full of limes and tortillas on the table. No meal is served without tortillas.

The kids at the party playing in the yard on the swings at Medardo's graduation party.

Abimael with his new bicycle. We gave him one of Balthezar's gently used bikes. Having a bike in mexico is a big deal. Most kids don't have one. Many adults do, but use it for getting around town.

Moises, Abi and I at the school graduation.

When the kids graduate it is a big event at the school. All the kids have to get a nice suit or dress. They decorate, have a mariachi band, several different groups of younger kids dance a nicely choreographed routine, and the kids who are graduating also dance. They practice for weeks beforehand to get prepared. Here is Medardo with his partner.

At Medardos graduation. A group of second graders did a dance, and sprayed silly string. All the little kids ran in afterwards to pick it up and play with it. Edith loved that part.

Feliciano, Medardo, and Delia with his certificate of graduation.

You notice that Medardo has flakes of confetti in his hair. It is a tradition at celebrations for the people to hug you while throwing confetti in your hair and say congratulations.

This is Feliciano at Medardo's party cooking the carnitas. They bought a small pig for the party. The big tub is set on top of a gas fire and all the pork fat is melted down to use to cook all the meat. In the background is their alfalfa for their cow.

Friday, September 5, 2008

work and play in the milpa (corn plants)

One morning we woke up and decided to go and weed in the fields, but decided to take all the fixings to cook and eat with us. We asked Leticia to come along with her kids. We put up a swing with a rope in a tree, left the kids to play while we weeded. After a while I started up the barbecue and we got our eat on. Here are the kids enjoyin their tacos.

Leticia cooking up the pork strips.

All ready to go out to work. We hook up the horse to the cart and everybody jumps on. The only problem is that the cart has no shocks, so it is a very bumpy ride.

Working with a little sickle posing for the camera.

I enjoyed working in the fields. It is good exercise, beautiful scenery, and Delia and I would gossip.

This is one of the days that we went with Delia. She packed the food to eat and brought it with us. We cleared a spot to sit on with a machete and had a great meal. After all that exercise, food and drink tastes so good. Double click on the picture and check out the huge cactus tree in the backgroud.
Next to some big maguey plants. I wanted a picture to show how huge they are. People plant them around the border of their fields. (check out the great hair on me!!)

Family Fotos

Going from left to right, here is Feliciano (Delia's husband), Giovanni (Maricella's husband), Aaron (my father in law), and Javier (Leticia's husband). Marta's husband went to Monterrey to work, so he in't in these photos.

Feliciano took this picture, and I looked at it and just busted out laughing. Just seeing how much taller and larger than they all are. It is no wonder people are always staring at me!

Here are the grandparents with every single grandchild. Starting at the top left is Medardo (Delia's son who is 12) he is holding Carla (Leticia's 13 month old), next is my mother in law with Sarai (Maricella's only child, 6 months), father in law with Angel (Martha's 3 month old), then Delia (named after her mother, 10). The middle row is Ismael (Leticia's 3 year old), then Antonio (Delia's 3 year old) and Osbaldo (Martha's 2 year old). Bottom row is Edith, then Belen Guadalupe - we call her Lupe (Leticia's oldest who i 7) with her 6 year old brother Abimael, and finally Balthezar.

Moises mom and dad with all his sisters. From left is Maricela, Leticia, Aaron, Margarita, Delia, and Martha.