Saturday, May 8, 2010

anxiety taking over

I am feeling really anxious tonight. Well, I feel pretty anxious most of the time, it just seems pretty bad today in particular. I know that it is because of school and jobs. Right now people are starting to get interviews for jobs, and I have yet to hear back from anyone. The people who are going to get jobs right off the bat are people who have experience. I don't know why I am being so anxious about it, I just am. I guess it is just hard to see so many people be 'better' than me. That isn't really the right word for it, but I guess deep down that is how I feel, since they will have a job and I won't. Both Luth and Marcella have had interviews. Luth will get a job at the ER where she already works. Marcella got an interview at Overlake, which was kind of a surprise since she didn't turn in all of the letters of recommendation needed. I am really happy for her though, because she really likes working there. She has had 2 clinicals there, so she knows the system and the floor. I applied for a residency job at Good Samaritan Hospital today. That is where I would prefer to work. It is so close to the house in Puyallup. The hours suck though. One is a 12 hour night shift, the other is 8 hour evening shifts. If I get a job working evening, I would never see the kids. It is only 28 hours a week, so maybe it wouldn't be too bad. I don't know. The 12 hour one is 36 hours a week so only 3 12 hour shifts a week, which isn't too bad either. I just hope that I can get the support I need from Moises. I know that I will want/need a sitter/helper to get stuff done around the house. Part of me wonders what it would take to apply to get Moises's mother to come live up here, but that would mean his father would live up here too. He actually isn't too bad now that he doesn't drink anymore. But I know that his sisters in mexico would miss their mom dearly, and she would really miss mexico. I need to find someone younger if I am going to hire a mexican family member. I could always hire my mom! lol