worrywart woes

I am my family's worrywart. I can and do worry about most everything. Something that I think about off and on is the economy, and how it will effect my family and way of life. I am lucky, because I have learned to live very frugally. My kids wear a lot of hand me downs, or clothes from Value Village. I like that when I buy something that has already been used, I am not contributing to some poor young girl in China having to work 14 hours a day for a dollar. I mean, it is almost as impossible to get something that is not from China, as it is to buy food from the grocery store that isn't made with high fructose corn syrup or sugar. That is another tangent.....

Anyway. The snow storm that we had last week made me think of a recent conversation with my brother Josh. My step father Dick asked him what he thought about all the new 'energy efficient' cars that are coming out. Josh said that it doesn't really matter, as soon as we use up all the gas, we are all going to die of starvation. Well, most people will die of starvation, and it probably won't be him or Dick, but he pointed to Edith, and said it will be them. Dick said he is crazy and why would that be, Josh point out that pesticides are made with oil, etc, etc.

Of course, Dick just thinks Josh is crazy. I don't. I agree with him. I went to the grocery store during the storm and half the store was empty. With no truck able to get food to the super markets, they were running out of stuff. That was just after a couple of days. What happens when big companies like Albertsons or Safeway go out of business, or what about it we run out of gas to ship the food. Only the rich will be able to afford it. The rest of the people will need to learn how to live off a garden.

How many people do you know that know how to garden? What about how to can the stuff afterwards to use throughout the year? Who even has a yard big enough to grow a garden? How about living without electricity? Heat?

I feel blessed in the fact that I can do most of that stuff. Living in Mexico off and on has given me an appreciation of the luxuries that I have in the US, but I don't really mind living without the luxuries. It can be annoying - like the house in Puyallup that we never us the heat, just firewood, but do able.

Tobbagon ride

This tobbagon has been in our family since the mid 80's. When we lived in New Hampshire our Uncle Walt sent us money for Christmas and this is what we got. We got a lot of use out of it back then, but has been in storage since we moved to Washington. Josh got it out the other day, and we took it for a spin today. We took a few kids from the neighborhood with us, and they all fought over who got to ride in front - kind of like who wants sit in the front of a roller coaster. I really enjoyed it. I went many times by myself and with the kids.

Winter wonderland

Kathy is bracing herself against the snow and wind. We probably needed to find a bigger tree.

Edith on her last trip down the hill.

We got to the hill to sled and two of Balthezar's friends were there. Jessie in front, Balthezar in the middle and Conner in the back.

Even I got in on the action. Sledding is much scarrier as an adult! I had a really good time, despite the tumbles.

The long walk home...

Big enough family?

When you add Davids family with our family (well actually only half of it) we are a big group! This photo is taken from Maira's babtism in November. I won't bore you all with the names of everyone, as most of you all who read this already know who everyone is. I especially like this photo because you can't see my body, and me and Edith look so cute next to each other. I also like how Amira's dress is up to her neck.

eating and sleeping and eating, oh my

So, being on break isn't very fun. Well, I feel like this all the time, but I guess being in school gives me something else to obsess about in between. Currently, all I have to do is eat, sleep and watch tv while the kids are in school. I know that there are probably lots of other things that I could be doing, but I haven't gotten myself to do them yet. I did look over the next 5 chapter that I have to read for class, so I guess that is a start. I just feel lately that things are getting worse, although it may just be in my head. I doubt that. If I could eat all day long, I probably would, but then nothing is satisfying. And if I do eat too much, then I will just purge, and then I have more room to eat again. I don't really do that all too often, because my gag reflex isn't so great after doing that to myself on and off for 15 years. I should probably consider myself lucky, because if I didn't have an eating disorder, I would probably just be a huge alcoholic/drug addict. I can totally see myself that way.

Gold and Happiness

Day before yesterday I was sitting in the hot tub with the kids and I asked them what they would like to get for Christmas. Balthezar says, 'Well, I don't know if Santa can bring this, but I would like for this to be the best Christmas ever for everyone' Edith on the other hand, says that she would like a treasure chest full of jewelry and some gold.

Speaking of friends

This is my host family from when I was in Greenland. It was at the airport the day that I was leaving to go back home.

Ivalu was my best friend that year (her name was Eva back then, she changed it to have a more traditional Greenlandic name) Ivalu and I have been in contact here and there. I really loved her so much - I still do. Does it make sense that my heart sometimes aches for the life that I had that year with her? I had a couple other good friends that year, Cesar of course, and a girl named Carla.

Of course I miss it. I went dancing 3 times a week, and hung out with friends almost every day of the week. I hung out at friends houses drinking tea and smoking cigarettes for hours. It was the life! I am totally like Peter Pan. I don't want to grow up. Having kids and having to work, that is so lame sometimes!

Although, I don't think it is necessarily that I don't want to grow up. I love going to Mexico too, and it is for a similar reason - the people. I know that I can go walk to someones house - a friend across the street, or any of my sister in laws, and I will be welcomed in, given some food or drink, and can sit and chat about whatever. I think that it is that I feel important because people have time to visit. Our american lives are so disconnected from each other, it seems like we don't know how to just be anymore. I mean, who needs to sit and chat with friends for a couple of hourse, when there are things to be bought, errends to run, work to be done, house stuff, etc etc. (although, in mexico they do everything s l o w, like cooking from scratch and washing clothes by hand, but still have time for people) Does that make sense?

"I am Sara"

Edith is really getting into making 'books' with paper that she tapes together. She then draws pictures and has me write the story down for her. This is a page of one. The story is "The sun was out. Then the clouds covered the sun and it started to rain. Sara got out her umbrella."

Edith really likes the name Sara. I have never met any of her playmates with that name from school or day care, but it is what she calls stuffed animals, pictures for stories, and even sometimes like me to pretend her name is Sara. (maybe she was a girl named sara in another life....)

Modern technology is such a weird thing. You know, I have never felt really self confident when it comes to friends. I will have a friend for a period of time, and then they move or I move, or school is out. I always wondered how people kept in contact with friends, and I mostly attributed it to the fact that people just don't like me, I am not really that important, and I am not a good enough friend to put the effort in to making it work. Humans are fickle, and I have a hard time handling that. I mention this with technology because I recently have gotten on Facebook, and have come in contract with several friends from my past. There is the initial, 'hey how are you!! How's it going?" (if at all) and then me, being the type of person I am, write a letter writing about how I am, and whatnot. And I get........................nothing. I realize that I am obviously not a top priority. I mean, these are people that I haven't seen in over 10 years, I am not that important, but still. The sensitive, needy little kid in me who always felt left out, wants to be important.

kids art school brain fart

My kids made some cute art. I have a scanner now, so I can scan it and not have paper all over my house. I love it.

I don't think I spelled that right. I did pretty lame on a test today, and so I am a bit bummed out by it. I got a 73%, so I passed, but barely. Since when do I barely pass a test! I even studied for it.

I only have one more test until the quarter is over - well besides a take home lab final and a short quiz tomorrow. I am excited to officially be 1/6 of the way finished with nursing school.

I have a TON of reading to do over break, and I really am going to have to get to work and study more, because this next quarter is a lot harder than this first quarter. I have about 200 pages of reading to do during winter break. Luckily I have an awesome study group, and we will be meeting a couple times a week to study. It is really cool to have a group of people who are all working on the same thing. I am such a social person, so it is nice to have an excuse to hang out with people all the time.